


No reason to live

by BigEaterQueen



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: And suggest a better title maybe?, Cause this one feels too cheesy, Feel free to pass out criticism, Gen, One Shot, Zeno tearing himself apart, ch 100+ spoilers, graphic description of self harm, just a lot of hurt, mentions of self loathing, pls don't read if you get easily triggered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6291502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigEaterQueen/pseuds/BigEaterQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immortality is a painful 'gift'. All people break under its power. Even dragon warriors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No reason to live

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people. This here is my first fanfic both for this fandom and on this site. Though I say fanfic it's more of a stress-drabble really. Once again I warn you that this fic contains graphic descriptions of self harm and if you are triggered by self harm or self loathing, please, please turn back. It's not worth risking your health over a few words. Feel free to drop by with criticism and commentary. I'm always looking to improve. :)

* * *

 

A golden haired youth sat on a sturdy tree branch, rummaging through his bag.  
“Let’s see… Zeno has some apples, some oranges and some berries in this bag.” He squinted as well as he could at his growling stomach.

  
“Looks like Zeno better eat.” He said as he patted himself. He selected a bruised apple; one that looked like it wouldn’t last very long, and sunk his teeth into it. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, his eyes taking in the surrounding forest absently. A memory from centuries ago flashed back to him and this particular place was much more familiar.  
He saw his comrades of the past, all seated in different spots around the clearing. One with his had sat across from him, picking fruits from the branches around him with his normal hand and tossing them towards the ravenous Zeno, while two others, one with golden eyes and the other with long green hair, had been bickering over some trivial matter. In the centre a figure with long red hair sat, smiling at their antics, calling out their names...

  
Zeno wiped his face dry with his sleeve.  
“So many years and Zeno still cries like this. It’s silly isn’t it?” A wave of loneliness washed over him and he gazed up at the blue sky, once again wondering why he was the only one left behind. Why was he the only one all alone? The apple slipped out of his hand and hit the ground with a soft thud, its bite mark facing up at him.

  
He hopped down from his perch and left the clearing without looking back. He tried to get as far away as possible from the pain behind him. He couldn’t break down, not yet. Not in a happy place like this.

  
The forest thinned out, revealing the edge of a cliff. Beyond that, the beautiful sky stretched endlessly. Zeno noted that the sun was beginning to set. As the blue sky began to turn into lovely hues of orange and red, the memories of all the precious people from his past flashed by again. Even their names were too painful for him to say.

  
The brief loneliness from before was incomparable to the tsunami of despair that crashed over him. The pent up frustration and loneliness from the past centuries burst out of his throat, making him sound like a wild animal. He fell to his knees, tears beginning to fall down his face as all the birds in the surrounding trees fled in fear. Another scream tore itself out of his throat, obliterating any and all signs of sanity as he gripped his head tightly.  
He began to scratch at his arm, trying to rip off his disgusting self, this ugly body. He violently ran his hand up and down, causing a few drops of blood to trickle down onto the ground.

_It's not enough_

The wound began to heal up quickly. Not ready to let it go so soon, he pulled out a knife that he had stowed away within his robes earlier. In a single, practised motion, he slit his wrist and watched his blood flow down even more.

  
_More. More. More._  
_MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!_

He completely gave in to the screams in his head and began to quickly tear off his own flesh. He wildly kept hacking at his limb until the dull greyish white of his bone was visible against the bright flesh surrounding it. He moved to hack that off as well but his blade bounced off the already forming scales. His emotions still fuelling him, he began to attack other parts of his body one by one.

  
He still tried to hurt himself even after his entire body was covered with scales from the neck down. As he tried to cut his scale covered throat, the knife now completely worn down from its vigorous use, shattered. Zeno tossed away the useless hilt and threw himself face first onto the ground. He felt his nose shatter on impact and a few seconds later rebuild itself. Drops of sweat ran down his body as he became aware of a round metal disc pressing through his clothes and onto his chest.  
He turned himself onto his side and his hand rummaged frantically though his robes. When his fingers brushed across the warm metal, he grasped on to it tightly and pulled it out. As he did, he let out a breath the he hadn’t realised he was holding before.

  
He gripped the medallion as he sensed the scales slowly turning back into normal skin. The dragon emblazoned onto its face left an imprint in his trembling hand. Any normal person would have a headache by now but not Zeno. Exhausted, he curled up and closed his eyes, the chilly wind rustling though the trees his sole companion and the feeling of tears that he hadn’t realised that he shed continued to persist into his dreamless sleep.


End file.
